Have you seen Widward?

Carmen D'Alessandro

Well, one day, Fred and Carmen were hiking in the woods. And they heard this really annoying noise, kind of like a loon, but not exactly that. They were curious to see what this piece of shit was, so they hiked there ass's up there to find it.

We got to the top of the tree, and to our suprise, we saw a small blue bird with glasses and we named him "Widward".

So thats where the name originated.

We thought Widward would never make any friends, because he was a blue bird with glasses, but he was actually the most popular bird at his school.

One day, Widward came home. It was like any other day, but he just wouldn't shut up! Fred asked him very politely at first, because thats how he was raised, but then it just got out of hand. He wouldn't shut up. All of a sudden around 200 birds fly through our front door. Fred went absolutely insane, and shot Widward directly in the pelvis.

Widward fell to the floor. We thought he died, so we went to go get something to pick him up with, and he was gone. No one has seen him since.

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